Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The funniest doctor jokes

Doctor: What seems to be your trouble?
Patient: When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour.
Doctor: Try getting up one hour later.
Dentist (to the patient): For God's sake, stop making those noises and
waving your arms. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.
Patient : Yes, I know. But u're standing on my foot.
Doctors son: Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me
some guidelines of success.
Doctor father: Always, write your prescriptions
illegibly and your bills legibly.
Doctor: Yes, what is it I can do for you?
Patient : Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends
told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body's blood would go
into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn't anyone say that all the blood
would go into the legs?
Doctor: The fact's your legs are not that hollow as your head is.
Doctor: Mr. Kishan, you look exhausted.
Kishan: I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have
to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it.
The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, "I cannot
hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would
like to see?".
"Yes," replied the patient faintly, "Another doctor".
Patient: Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?
Doctor: Use a pencil till I come to see your son.
Patient: Doctor, I feel there are two of me.
Doctor : Very well, I shall see you, one at a time.
A fat lady: (To a health expert). Give me some advice that can reduce my
Health expert: Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a
particular time.
Fat lady: At which particular time?
Health expert: Whenever anybody asks you to eat.
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): What is wrong with you?
Patient: I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine.
Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): Here, Take this.
Patient: Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right.
Doctor (to a patient) : you must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine
before every meal.
Patient: Doctor, we've only 3 spoons at home.

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