Funny marriage ads - U cant stop laughing

These are actual ads on a matrimony site. I just read this and burst out laughing. Grammar and spell errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart! Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail...

- Hello To Viewvers My Name is Somesha , I am single i dont have Famale, If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or send u letter.. Thanks yours Regards Somesha ~*~

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i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa state he is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
(Homework?)

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Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. She may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run smoothly. thank you
(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)

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She should be good looking and should have a service. She Shoulsd have one brother and one sister. She should be educated.
(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)

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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Because friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........ hold my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

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i am simple boy.I have lot ofproblemin mylife because ofmylucknow i amlooking onegirlshe caremeandloveme lot lot lot

(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)

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My wife should be as 'Parwati' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tulsi as in KSBKBT......

(Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding too much, ain't he?)

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i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house she should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing her jeans? ahem...)

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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GUY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are laughing)

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whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone bride and she must think of the future life if she is toolike this she would bde called the lady of the lamp

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this guy wants)

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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome")

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HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK

(the "ok syndrome" again)

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iam pradip my family histoy my two brother two sister and fater & mother sister complity marred

(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married 'completely'?)

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iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent. i am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.

(actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)

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my name is farhan and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(height of desperation! J )

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Iwant one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartly or she havea frank she's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey. IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful. but iam not a handsome person or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good person. My father already expired . iam ''AEKLAUTA''. THE CHOICE IS YOUR. bye bye.

(uttama purushan)

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iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No comments)

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I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT.

(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)

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hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first wife.her charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ...

(but credit cards not accepted..???)

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my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service

(Zebra..???)

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i'm looking out for who lives in bombay, girl simple who trust me lot should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.

(Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)

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to be married on jan-2005. working woman perferable

(this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find a bride. I wish him best luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure he will get one soon.)

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i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure. because girl is the mahalakshmi.

(Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)

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ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying salary at present.

(Any takers again?)

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Follow it or Not?

Do excersize in the mOrning

1. Over 90% of people who exercise *consistently*, exercisein the morning. If you want to exercise consistently, odds are in your favor if you exercise first thing in the morning.

2. When you exercise early in the morning, it "jump starts" your metabolism and keeps it elevated for hours, sometimes up to 24 hours! That means you're burning more calories all day long just because you exercised in the morning!

3. When you exercise in the morning you'll be *energized* for the day! Personally, I feel dramatically different on days when I have and haven't exercised in the morning.

4. Many people find that morning exercise "regulates" their appetite for the day - that they aren't as hungry and that they make better food choices. Several people have told me that it puts them in a "healthy mindset."

5. If you exercise at about the same time every morning, and ideally wake-up at about the same time on a regular basis, your body's endocrine system and circadian rhythms adjust to that. Physiologically, some wonderful things begin to happen; A couple of hours *before* you awaken, your body begins to prepare for waking and exercise because it "knows" it's about to happen. Why? Because it "knows" you do the same thing just about everyday. You benefit from that in several ways..

a) It's MUCH easier to wake-up. When you wake-up at different times everyday, it confuses your body and thus it's never really "prepared" to awaken.

b) Your metabolism and all the hormones involved in activity and exercise begin to elevate while you're sleeping. Thus, you feel more alert, energized, and ready to exercise when you do wake-up.

c) Hormones prepare your body for exercise by regulating blood pressure, heart rate, blood flow to muscles, etc.

6. For many people, that appointed time every morning becomes something they look forward to. It's time they've set aside to do something good for themselves - to take care of their body, mind, and soul. Many find that it's a great time to think clearly, pray, plan their day, or just relax mentally.

7. Research has demonstrated that exercise increases mental acuity. On average it lasts four to ten hours after exercise! No sense in wasting that brain power while you're sleeping.

8. Exercise first thing in the morning is really the only way to assure that something else won't crowd exercise out of your schedule. When your days get hectic, exercise usually takes a back seat!

9. If finding time to exercise is difficult, anyone can get up 30 to 60 minutes earlier to exercise (if it's a priority in your life). If necessary, you can go to sleep a little earlier. Also, research has demonstrated that people who exercise on a regular basis have a higher quality of sleep and thus require less sleep!