Bar Rafeli at the Denise Rich hosts 2009

Funny SMS Jokes collection

Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!

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A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows  ____________________________________________________ 
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!

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Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: why three?

Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

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A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

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A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!!

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What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!

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Girl: I wanna a responsible man as a husband.

Man replies: Dat's me, whenever anyone is pregnant in my neighborhood, they say I m responsible!

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Friend: how many women do u believe must a man marry?

Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Coz the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.
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Psychiatrist' s receptionist comes & says There's a man out who says he can make himself invisible.

Psychiatrist: "Tell him I can't see him right now." ____________________________________________________
There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it. There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it!

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Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks To be as rich as his child believes To have as many women as his wife suspects..

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Women are like blue jeans, They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

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If u r stressed, you'll get pimples.. if u cry,u'll get wrinkles.. So, y don't u smile & get dimples?____________________________________________________
There are many things in ur life which will catch ur eye but only few will catch ur heart pursue those

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Good news for mobile users :: Mobile number portability

From January 2010, mobile users can change their telecom service provider while retaining their phone numbers as the Telecom Regulatory Authority of India (Trai) on 23/09/09 Wednesday issued regulations for implementation of mobile number portability (MNP) stating January 1, 2010, as the deadline to begin MNP in metros and category A circles. The service would be available in the rest of the country from March, 2010.

A subscriber holding a mobile number is eligible to make a porting request only after 90 days of the date of activation of his mobile connection. If a number is already ported once, the number can again be ported only after 90 days from the date of the previous porting.

Cute actress Keira Knightley

The funniest doctor jokes

Doctor: What seems to be your trouble?

Patient: When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour.

Doctor: Try getting up one hour later.
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Dentist (to the patient): For God's sake, stop making those noises and

waving your arms. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.

Patient : Yes, I know. But u're standing on my foot.

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Doctors son: Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me

some guidelines of success.

Doctor father: Always, write your prescriptions

illegibly and your bills legibly.

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Doctor: Yes, what is it I can do for you?

Patient : Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends

told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body's blood would go

into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn't anyone say that all the blood

would go into the legs?

Doctor: The fact's your legs are not that hollow as your head is.

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Doctor: Mr. Kishan, you look exhausted.

Kishan: I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have

to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it.

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The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, "I cannot

hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would

like to see?".

"Yes," replied the patient faintly, "Another doctor".

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Patient: Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?

Doctor: Use a pencil till I come to see your son.

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Patient: Doctor, I feel there are two of me.

Doctor : Very well, I shall see you, one at a time.

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A fat lady: (To a health expert). Give me some advice that can reduce my

fatness.

Health expert: Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a

particular time.

Fat lady: At which particular time?

Health expert: Whenever anybody asks you to eat.

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Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): What is wrong with you?

Patient: I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine.

Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): Here, Take this.

Patient: Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right.

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Doctor (to a patient) : you must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine

before every meal.

Patient: Doctor, we've only 3 spoons at home.

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